Ending on a high

We have some good friends that have this awesome tradition. At dinner, they go around the table and say the hi and low for the day. We have started doing this and had I been at the dinner table tonight, this would be my answer.

Low: My biopsy.

I woke extra early today to beat the Austin traffic for my second biopsy. I left the house without seeing or talking to anyone. I was fairly confident about this procedure because I have done it before. Either I blocked out the pain and discomfort of this ultrasound driven needle biopsy or today’s was just that much worse. This morning’s procedure was by far the worst thing I have experienced thus far (this time around). The needle, the sound, the pressure was more than my body could take…and I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. My welps and the tears streaming down my face must have brought it to their attention that I was not completely numb. Another needle, more “drilling” (lets be honest, that is what it seems like) and another painful prick into the deep tissue. I was in pain. Physically, some of the worst pain and honestly, emotionally I was drained. I have had 2 weeks of IVs, blood drawn, contrast injected, scans, and discussions of the best way to cut apart my body and put it back to look somehow like a woman still. And there I lay, with people cutting, stabbing into my body to suck out cancer to place in a petri dish. It was just more than I could handle. I have been alone in several of these procedures. Sure there is a tech there that is rubbing my hand like it is actually soothing to me, but I am alone… or am I? I am so lucky that I have a Savior who stands by me in all this. I could feel it. A God who will never leave me, a God who never slumbers. His head is not turned, He is watching head on. He hears my cries, He sees those tears and all I needed in those torturous moments was to feel Him with me. Oh, how I am so thankful to feel His presence.

High: Bunco!

I have been a part of a great group of ladies for over a year that get together once a month to laugh, roll the dice, to just let it all out. We bring money each week that goes into the pot for buying prizes. After a fun night of way too much food and lots of 80s music, I looked around for the prizes. Instead of 5 different ladies going home with a prize, my friends gave all the money to me. I am continually surprised at the generosity of people. The love and support that so many have for us. When I got home, the best part was sitting on the couch and reading the sweet words that each lady wrote to me. God has definitely picked me up several times in my life and moved me. Not to rip me from the friendships I had, but to specifically place me in new ones. He placed me right here, on this street, at this school, at this church, in this group, to serve a higher purpose than I ever dreamed. Thank you to all those who have stepped up and who are proving to me that I am exactly where God needed me at this exact time.

Prayers: Waiting on results from the biopsy,  please pray that this cancer is HER2 + to allow for specific targeted therapy.

Pray that as we begin chemo, the tumor/s shrink.

Pray for wisdom for the doctors who are working together to make the best plan for my treatment.

Waiting on the BART gene results, pray that it comes back normal. The average woman has a 1 in 8 chance of breast cancer. My precious girls already have a 1 in 4 chance because of me. If I have a genetic mutation towards breast cancer, their risk is even higher.

Continue to lift up my family/friends. This diagnosis hurts so many people beyond just me.

Coming up: Surgery for the port on Friday, 21st. 1st chemo begins Monday, 24th. I will receive treatment every 21 days for 6 cycles.

4 thoughts on “Ending on a high

  1. I’m so grateful His presence was felt, but am just so sorry that you are having to walk this hard road again. Prayers and love…

  2. God is Julie’s shepherd in the wilderness, her source of strength, the God who goes before her, her rock and her shield, in troubled times he will provide, He will not forsake her. Thinking of you and lifting you up to our God who is ALWAYS with us, may his deep love and peace surround you and be tangible. Much love, an Oregon soul sister!

  3. Julie, I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced, but I know you from the Fellowship and I know we have some friends in common. I suspect we may have a good many things in common. I’m sorry you are fighting this cancer battle once again, but so glad that you are fighting! I am inspired and encouraged by your attitude and faith in our Savior. I am praying for your complete healing and continued positive attitude. I can so relate to your description of the biopsy. I had a stereotactic breast biopsy last September & went alone, thinking it was no big deal….then found out it WAS a big deal & I should have brought someone with me. I’m glad you have supportive friends surrounding you. I would like to meet you. I’ll be singing at church this weekend, so if you are there & see me (I’ll be the only blonde on stage :-D), please come say hello.

  4. I say my prayers as I’m driving to work and you and your family have been right the top of my list . I’ve had some pretty serious conversations with God since learning about the return of the cancer. I ask the usual WHY? questions as I think bout you being the same age as Mel and how I would respond. I’m not close enough to rush over with a casserole or take the girls for a night but I’m in your corner and praying for you just as I know you mom is praying right now. And I did hear the quiet voice of God remind me….be still and know that He is God. love and hugs…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.