You know the Israelites? They were slaves for 400 years in Egypt. Short story, God had Moses lead them out of slavery and promised them the “Promise Land.” (Exodus 3:8-10)
When Moses asked God who he was to say sent him to Pharaoh, God responded tell him it is I AM. I always thought that just meant he is the I AM – that’s enough, its Me.. God. But it means that He will be whatever Moses needs him to be. If you need miraculous signs – I AM. You need me to interrupt nature and part the sea – I AM. You need food and water in the desert – I AM. I AM everything you will need to accomplish this task.
God did say he would bring them into the land, but the Israelites had to fight for it. They were not expected to do it on their own strength, but with God’s strength. He says,”I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you.” God would help them by bringing down the walls of Jericho, he would give them strategies to defeat the enemy, he would empower them, but they had to obey and fight.
This encourages me to trust that God is still my I AM. I AM your protector. I AM your toxic cleanser. I AM your medicine. I AM your strength at the end of the day. I AM your strategy giver. I AM your Father. I can be everything you need to accomplish this task.
In the last 2 weeks, I have made the decision to stop chemo (for now). I have met with too many people and have too many opinions to sort through. We have decided that a radical diet change is the best way to get my immune system jump started and let my own God-created body try to fight this cancer. The cancer is smart, getting smarter. It can dismiss drugs and leave itself completely unaltered. But my own body… it was designed to fight these abnormalities. My prayer is that God will allow me to stay well enough, long enough to fight this internally.
Maybe for some, I look like I am fighting. I am taking this in stride and giving it my all. But it is hard. I love Mighty Fine. I love Chick-fil-A. I love lunches with my husband and quick easy dinners when I’m tired. But now my life is planned. I have to always have on hand what I can eat and be prepared to cook a dinner worthy of this diet. That is hard. And honestly, I am angry at what I am now eating. I’m angry that the pleasures of food have been taken away. (I don’t actually crave roasted broccoli for a snack) I’m angry it takes so much prep and money to eat this way. I’m angry that there is not just one way to do this and everyone has a suggestion – only clouding the water for us. I am trying to do this on my own and not letting God be my I AM. You need me to take away your cravings? I AM. You need me to help with strategies? I AM. You need me to interrupt the way your body is working to fight the cancer. I AM. But in the same breath as I am letting God be everything I need, like the Israelites, I still have to fight. I have to go to the store. I have to cut the veggies. I have to make a plan for dinner. I have to look at this as an opportunity to fight this cancer. It is going to take work and dedication and perseverance. The PET scans show cancer in all my bones, and surrounding the right lung. There are spots on the liver and it appears that things have progressed in the last few months. It is hard to measure bc it is so wide spread. I just glow all over in the scan. I will stick to a detox and a harsh diet for the next 30 days and we will rescan. My prayer is that there will be signs that this is working. My prayer is that God will reward this hard work, this fight, with a new HOPE, and that there will always be grace to take the next step.
Thank you all for your words, you donations, your cards. I have taken 2 trips with my girls and have just Audrey’s left. I will try to get the pics up here for you to see. The love and support is indescribable. It is only from God. I am blessed to receive it.
We love, support and pray for you during this season of your journey.
The power of your words and your strength is truly awe inspiring to those of who are following your story. It is my greatest wish, my pleading prayer that your efforts over the next 30 days will be rewarded with hope. And more time. I think of you every single day, often throughout the day. You are a fighter Julie, of that I am sure. Thank you once again for taking the time to update those of us out here hoping and praying right along with you. That is a gift that you are giving of yourself.
Your girls will never forget these trips. Never. Many, many years from now, they will tell their children about their memories of their mother. And how she stopped at nothing (because, honestly, roasted broccoli!!!) to be there for them. Hugs to you and continued prayers coming your way!
julie- love your honesty, always. you have great real perspective and that is honorable. I believe God WILL reward your heart, your fight, and you being real with your feelings about your struggles. we are walking along side you in prayer and support in any way you may need it.
Love, love and more love to you and your beautiful family. You are so courageous and I know you will be rewarded for your bravery. Keep fighting. I will be praying everyday for good results in 30 days. Love you.
We just read a great article on intercessory prayer… how Moses interceded for the Israelites when God wanted to destroy them. We are doubling those prayers for you. We will pray you start to crave roasted broccoli! ; ) Love you Jules.
praying with you that the detox proves fruitful and there is clear and convincing evidence on the scans…
Precious Julie,
I love this story of the Israelites coming into the land flowing with milk and honey (having more than enough). There were NONE feeble among them as they were led out of Egypt and entered into the promised land (Psalm 105:37). What a shadow of the gift of salvation through our Jesus’ death and resurrection. As we’ve chosen Jesus as our Savior, we are in the promised land, having all we need. We’ve been redeemed. The blood of Christ has made you righteous in Him and deserving of every blessing..your whole in every way. Salvation includes peace, joy, completeness and health. The truth is found in His word and His word brings life to your body and health to your bones. I pray as you listen to the below link, The Lord will show you a greater revelation of His intense love and grace for you and the healing that is rightly yours. You are His beloved daughter, whom He is well pleased with. As you allow your mind to be renewed by what He says, a fresh faith, hope, energy, confidence, joy and excitement will arise. He will turn this around for your good, but rest in Him, stop striving and trying to figure it out. Receive fully from Him for the truth will set you free. Philippians 2:13 says it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. You can’t, but He can. He can cause your desires to be His. If He wants you to change your dietary habits (and I believe He does) trust Him to empower you by His grace to prepare and eat for that day. When you allow yourself to be led by the unforced rhythms of His grace, you’ll actually find an ease to it all and enjoy the roasted broccoli! Romans 8:28, John 10:10
In the book of John we see that Jesus came to reveal the love of God. Jesus said “I AM’ in 7 different statements. “I AM the bread of life”, I AM the light of the world, “I AM the door”, “I AM the good shepherd”, “I AM the resurrection and the life”, I AM the truth and the life”, and “I AM the true vine” As you rest in who He is to you, your healing will spring forth because He’s already put you in a place of victory. The only thing you need to fight for is to fight to stay at rest (peace), allowing Him to do the work in you. I choose to use the power and authority given to me by being one with Christ to declare you’re healed by His stripes! Arise and shine, for the glory of the Lord is upon you!
http://www.josephprince.org/broadcast/ondeman
…Such a great post! I LOVE reading what you write. You are a very talented writer! Please know that I’m praying for you (even if I don’t reach out much) and know I think of you guys often!
Julie, We are praying for complete healing from the Great I Am.
It takes an extraordinary person to find the silver lining in such a horrific situation. It takes a power individual to clearly spread hope, love and understanding when is it unclear for yourself. You are one strong, powerful and extraordinary person Julie! Your strength will pull you through. You are in our thoughts and prayers!
You are a strong girl! Keep up the fight! Praying for you and your family!
You bless us by the focus you give to our Lord’s light shining through you. We pray for you and your whole family daily.
Thank you for sharing your journey and courage in the face of daunting fear. Prayers that your family continues to feel I AM surrounding you, providing just what you need for each day, for each step of the journey. Above all that you know His peace, His provision and His power. Prayers continue here.
I feel your pain with the extreme diet, Julie. My battle isn’t quite what yours is, but I’m dealing with 5 autoimmune diseases and more keep cropping up. This past month I’ve been eating only fruits and veggies, juicing – as it speeds up detox and gives the digestive system a break, and doing lots of other things that aren’t so pleasant. My entire life has become a fight to get well. A mutual friend told me about your struggle. You are on my daily prayer list and I’m fighting beside you, my sister. Your faith is inspiring!